she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
