Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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