It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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