The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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