I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need to calm my uterus...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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