He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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