Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
