y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She's the barista slut.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
