spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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