I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
