I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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