You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
