A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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