I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
