I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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