Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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