Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He shit in the fireplace
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
