dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
