i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
