covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
