He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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