If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
