the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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