eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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