Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
