If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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