I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
