Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
