I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
