I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
