I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
