OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
