Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
