I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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