Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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