D3 body, D1 cock
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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