i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
