Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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