Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
