Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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