god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
