i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
