so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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