wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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