My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
