no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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