DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
