I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hippo gnu deer
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
