I can't watch pbs sober anymore
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
