We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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