im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
