Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
