Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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